About Me

I like to think of myself as funny, a comedian, a stand-up guy who does his comedy just about anywhere. I enjoy listening to people, which is like watching paint dry except more painful. Whenever I give blood, I am told by the Red Cross workers that I have nice veins, which I take great pride in. I'm still working on an excuse for not cooking. People are insulted when I tell them I don't cook. Sometimes I make things up, but there's only so much you can do with eggplant. I don't like craziness, but real faith is powerful. I avoid people who claim to have been abducted by aliens and want to show me their biopsy marks.